So I would like to start at the beginning and give a little history on when, where, how and why I have decided at 20 something to pursue the Wiccan way.
I originally come from a very strict Abrahamic religious family and faith but for a very long time had turned away from those beliefs in favour of a more agnostic spiritual view of the world. This spanned the most part of my high school years and all the way up until September this year (2014). During this time... and even before in my parents religion, I had always felt a strong draw to paganism, witchcraft and a lot of the mythology that goes along with that. I can recall many times where I would feel compelled to try and keep a grimoire or BoS and there was a lot of time dedicated to researching this subject in an attempt to become more educated and familiar with the practices and concepts of the Old Religions of the earth.
As you could imagine, my parents weren't particularly thrilled with this 'morbid interest' of mine and for extended lengths of time I would just ignore it and try and keep myself occupied with other things in life. Once my parents split up I found it easier to get back to entertaining my fascination with the subject and further researched and looked into the topic. My dad who I lived with at the time didn't have internet access and we both lived in a pretty rural area which did tend to make the search for knowledge a rather hard thing. I was lucky at this point to be blessed with friends who held similar interests and we would spur each other on and do spells together. I think we even attempted a seance once. I don't remember a terrible lot of detail about it though.
Anyway, fast forward a few years and I had managed to move out of the rural town to the city my mum was living in. It was at this point (as I was finishing my final year of high school) that I had pretty obviously lost faith in my parents religion and refused to continue to go to church. I believed in something more and still considered myself a very spiritual person but I did not believe that that something was the Abrahamic version of 'God'.
Also around this time I met my partner of now almost 10yrs and he vehemently disagrees with the idea of organised religion in the way we are most commonly exposed to it. I thought for a long time he was atheist but apparently he identifies with being agnostic also. I suppose he did always insist that spirit moves through all things...
This is how my life was for almost the last 9-10yrs of my life. Believing that there was something much more to life, the universe and everything but really unsure what that was and how to find out. Sporadically I would find myself drawn back to the idea of Wicca, paganism and earth based religions so I know it has never truly left my mind.
So, we are getting closer to when I decided it was for me. Last year I was feeling particularly hopeless and as though I had a spiritual void in my life. I couldn't work it out and eventually tried going back to church with my mother and siblings to see if that was it. The beautiful feeling of community, like minded people and family made me feel like I had found what I was looking for. But the longer I went, the more I realised it wasn't what I needed to fill the void.. it was a case of close but no cigar.
Finally I began looking for a spiritual path that resonated with me on every level and eventually I came back to the idea of Wicca. It just felt right after all the time I had spent when I was younger, wishing I could follow this path and all the time I tried to spend finding out all I could. Well now I have appropriate access to learning an research facilities, my own source of income and a brain that is trained to think critically. This has all been key to me nailing down all I needed to find to make an informed decision that Wicca is for me.
All that said, I have so much to learn and I am really eager to know all I can so I am by no means saying I'm an expert or anything. In fact there is just such a vast amount I don't yet know so I am actively seeking a teacher I can talk to and learn from in the flesh... but for now I'll continue to read books, search websites and seek out communities in the hopes that I can bring myself closer to the God and Goddess each day.
Merry Part and Blessed Be,
Vivienne Talise
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